


Sweetheart, Who's This?

by JayhawkWrites



Category: Glee
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:35:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26775238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JayhawkWrites/pseuds/JayhawkWrites
Summary: Blaine saw his ex, someone he really didn't ever want to see again, at an event. Thank goodness for the kind human being who was walking by at just the right moment.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Past Blaine Anderson/Sebastian Smythe - Relationship
Comments: 22
Kudos: 78





	Sweetheart, Who's This?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [coffeeorder](https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeeorder/gifts).



> For my 50th follower on Tumblr, coffeeorderwrites. "We are at the same event/party/bar and oh no my super obnoxious ex is here. Please will you pretend to be my boyfriend for five minutes?"

Why in the hell he decided to come with Sam to this fashion show he will never, ever know. Blaine hated these things. All of the uptight, pretentious divas liked their water sparkling. What's wrong with regular water anyway? As he was picking apart every single thing that was wrong with this event and the types of people who were typically at them, he stopped in his tracks when he saw _him_.

"Son of a bitch," Blaine muttered under his breath. _Of-fucking-course he'd be here_ , he thought. _He's the most pretentious, narcissistic asshole that's ever been born. Well, maybe not more than the disgusting Cheeto in office, but he's definitely a close second._

Just as his ex made eye contact with him and started walking over, Blaine grabbed the first person he could reach in the vicinity.

"I desperately need your help," Blaine whispered, eyes still on his ex walking closer to him. "My super obnoxious ex is here. Please will you pretend to be my boyfriend for five minutes?"

"Umm," a higher than expected voice said.

"Fuck," Blaine stammered. "You're probably not even gay. Shit. Nevermind."

"Hello, gorgeous," a new voice said suddenly.

"Goodbye, Sebastian," Blaine said with venom in his tone.

"Sweetheart, who's this?" the stranger asked.

_Thank god he is playing along._

"This is my ex I was telling you about the other night," Blaine replied.

"Oh, this-this is that one?" the stranger said, pointing to Sebastian with a smirk on his face. "I can see exactly what you were meaning."

"What in the hell is he talking about, Blaine?" Sebastian asked, nostrils now flaring and cheeks reddening.

"There are so many things we talked about that night, darling," Blaine said, smiling at the very handsome stranger next to him. "Which one are you thinking of?"

The stranger leaned down and whispered in Blaine's ear, "I'm Kurt, by the way. I have no idea what you would have told me, so this is on you."

Blaine laughed. "That, yeah; this is him."

"What the fuck, Blaine?" Sebastian said, now stomping his foot like a toddler. He hated to be made a fool of. "You know what? I was going to come over here and see if you wanted to get back together. But after the way you're treating me, I don't think I do."

"Sebastian," Kurt said, taking one tiny step closer to him with every statement. "I don't like the way you talk to my boyfriend; I don't like your smirky little meerkat face. I don't like your obnoxious CW hair. Please leave us alone because your Craigslist smell is really ruining the ambiance of this spectacular room."

With that, Kurt turned around and laid a kiss on Blaine's unexpecting lips.

"Let's get out of here, sweetheart," Kurt whispered.

"Okay," Blaine said in a daze and followed behind Kurt as he tugged him toward the back of the room.

Once they were alone, both of them dissolved into giggles.

"That was awesome!" Blaine said. "The meerkat…" Blaine started to say and laughed even harder. "And his smell…" he tried to say but was laughing even harder.

"That was really fun," Kurt said. "I'm glad I was walking by at just the right time."

"Me too," Blaine said, drying his eyes from laughing so hard he was crying. "I can't ever begin to thank you enough. Really. He wouldn't have given up. The asshole's been trying to apologize for months, and I always find myself having to sit there and listen to it."

"What did he do if I may ask?" Kurt asked.

"He thought it'd be a good idea to sleep with my best friend's sister in our apartment," Blaine said. "Needless to say, I wasn't very thrilled when I walked in on them. I immediately left, and he's been making excuses ever since."

"What excuse could he possibly make?" Kurt asked, eyes wide. "I'm sorry, but my dick fell into her vagina by accident?"

"Pretty much," Blaine said. "He's a narcissistic asshole and, just, thank you."

"You're welcome," Kurt said. "Say, would you want to watch the fashion show with me?"

"Really?" Blaine asked. When Kurt nodded, Blaine said, "That would be awesome, actually. I have no idea where my friend that I came here with ran off to. He probably found some model and is wooing her as we speak."

"He better not be messing with the models; they have a job to do," Kurt responded firmly. "Anyway, let's go. It's just about to begin."

Kurt grabbed Blaine's hand and led him backstage.

"Umm, Kurt?" Blaine asked. "What are we doing back here?"

"It's customary for the designer to watch the show from backstage and then take their walk at the end," Kurt said with a wink. Just then, the music started, and the emcee started talking.

"What would you say if I asked you to dinner tomorrow night?" Blaine asked.

"I'd say that sounds amazing," Kurt replied with a soft smile and a kiss to his cheek.

"Okay," Blaine said, squeezing Kurt's hand that he'd not let go of since they made their way backstage.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Kurt's rant on Sebastian is taken right from the show. I don't own Glee, it's characters, or it's dialogue. You better believe there would have been TONS of changes if I did.


End file.
